


Our Kind of Love

by thextruth



Series: Our love and life [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Paranormal Investigators, The X-Files References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 02:53:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13917855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thextruth/pseuds/thextruth
Summary: Missing scenes of season 7 explaining Mulder and Scully relationship,something that I really wanted to watch because we all know this is the season of secret sex, so here it goes love, angst and death.





	1. Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the x-files or any of the characters. They belong to Chris Carter and 20th Century Fox. This is just for fulfill my shipper heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after Scully found Mulder thanks to Fowley, does Mulder have something to tell Scully?

 

Scully enters the DOD medical room to find Mulder lying with his arms outstretched, a small sheet over his hips and a bandage on his head, she walks towards him and touches his head, then she whispers. 'Mulder. Mulder, you've got to wake up. I've got to get you out of here... Mulder, can you understand me?'

Mulder's eyelids flicker slightly and Scully begins to cry 'Mulder, you've got to get up. I don't know how much time we have. You've got to get up, Mulder... No one can do it but you, Mulder. Mulder, help me. Please, Mulder' A tear rolls down her cheek and falls on his eyelid, then down his cheek, Mulder opens his eyes and clears his throat.

His voice is raw and weak 'You... help... me' He wraps his arms around her as she tenderly supports his neck and head. He remains sit while she looks for something he can wear, she finds a bigger sheet and wrap him up with it, then help him to walk down the hall, he is weaker than she thought but they are not far from the main entrance, they get there and can't see anyone, he is getting heavy in her shoulder but she doesn't stop, they get outside and into the car, she reclines the front seat so that he can lie down and she can watch him while driving, he falls asleep almost immediately, but she has a lot of things in her mind.

She checks his breathing and pulse every couple of minutes, she can't believe how lucky they are to be alive, when they arrive to his apartment she holds his face with her hands again to wake him up, she holds him again and take him inside, he isn't able to walk much so she leave him in the couch and brings a blanket to cover his naked body. She stays in the chair next to the couch and takes care of him the whole night.

 

ONE WEEK LATER

Mulder's Apartment Building

 

Scully walks down the hall and knocks at Mulder's door. He opens it wearing a half-buttoned shirt with a tie under the collar. His head is still bandaged and he is wearing a New York Yankees ball cap over the gauze. He smiles at her while speaking 'Scully, what are you doing here? Actually, I was just getting dressed to come see you but I... I couldn't find a tie to go with my victory cap' Scully reaches up and takes the cap off of his head 'Mulder, no work. You have to go back to bed'

She starts to pull the tie away, but he grabs it back playfully 'Oh, wait. Tie goes to the runner' Mulder chuckles at his joke, and Scully smiles 'Scully, I, um... I was coming down... to work to tell you that Albert Hosteen is dead. He died last night in New Mexico. He'd been in a coma for two weeks. There was... no way he could have been in your apartment'

She looks at him in disbelief frowning 'He was there- we... we prayed together. Mulder, I don't believe that. I... I don't believe it. It's impossible' He looks down understanding her words, she is still a skeptic 'Is it any more impossible than what you saw in Africa or what you saw in me?'

She feels a big confusion, she can't think clearly 'I don't know what to believe anymore. Mulder, I was so determined to find a cure to save you that I could deny what it was that I saw and now I don't even know... I don't know... I don't know what the truth is ... I don't know who to listen to. I don't know who to trust' She starts to crying and looks away from him, then her voice gets weaker while she continues 'Diana Fowley was found murdered this morning. I never trusted her... but she helped save your life just as much as I did. She gave me that book. It was her key that led me to you. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I know she was your friend' She puts her arms around his shoulders and they hold each other.

He talks still holding her 'Scully, I was like you once- I didn't know who to trust. Then I... I chose another path... another life, another fate, where I found my sister. The end of my world was unrecognizable and upside down. There was one thing that remained the same' He now pulls her away and holds her face while gazing at her 'You... were my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant... my touchstone'

She looks at him with watery eyes and a shivering jaw 'And you are mine' They move their faces close together and Scully kisses him on the forehead, a long and tender kiss. They pull slightly apart, still touching. Scully puts his ball cap back on his head and cups his face in her hands. They look at each other for a while and then she touches his lips gently with her fingers and leaves.

Mulder stands in the doorway with eyes closed, he calls her name and she stops before reaching the elevator, they walk toward each other through the hall, he holds her in a hug again and then kiss her gently in the lips 'Scully stay with me' She looks at him with a question in her eyes, but he holds her hand and guide her to his apartment, they sit in the couch gazing at each other. 'Listen Scully, those days I was sick, I saw a future I thought was real, but now I realize that's really not what I want, I don't want a normal life, at least not the way I saw it'

She looks at him with fear in her eyes but she makes the question anyway 'What were you dreaming about Mulder?' He doubt for a second 'I… I dreamt about having a family, and living happily ever after but it wasn't with you, you were there but still as my best friend, and... I don't wanna lose that, but I want something else'

She looks at him with a raised eyebrow and her lips trembling 'Then what?'.

'I want you Scully… always with me, always like this, I want a life with you' Tears start falling down her cheeks, he wipe them away with his fingers, he holds her in an embrace and she cries in his chest, he kiss her forehead and caresses her hair. 'We want the same then…' She raises her face looking at him but this time, they melt in a long and sweet kiss.


	2. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after the Millenium kiss, the scene is a little different

December 31st 2000, 23:58

Hospital waiting room

 

Scully walks towards Mulder who is standing in the corridor watching the television 'Mulder' He turns to look at her and smiles 'Hey Scully!' he says turning towards the tv again, she sighs and raise her eyebrows closing her eyes 'Let's go home Mulder' he looks at her again with a surprise expression, she opens her eyes and see his open mouth 'You're not going to stay and watch?'

She stretches her neck and crosses her arms under her chest 'No, I just want to go home' he looks at her with a pleading expression 'Come on Scully! 30 seconds' He holds her arm and turn her to see the tv, she rolls her eyes and smiles watching the tv.

(TV) … 30 seconds now, 30. Get ready for the loudest cheering you'll ever hear in your life. Hug your friends and loved ones tight. What the heck, whoever that person is next to you. No time like the present. Are you ready? Here we go. Ten, nine ... eight, seven, six ... five, four, three, two, one ... Happy New Year, 2000!

Mulder looks at the kissing couples, then at Scully who is watching the TV. He looks at her lips and then leans down towards her. She turns to him. They start to kiss slowly and sweet, when they pull apart, they look at each other and smile 'The world didn't end' he says, she smiles peacefully 'No, it didn't'  
'Happy New Year, Scully' he says a little nervous looking at the floor, she continues smiling but looks away from him to look at the floor too 'Happy New Year, Mulder" He puts his arm around Scully's shoulders and they walk out of the waiting room together.

In their way home Scully drives because Mulder's right arm is in a sling, the trip is silent and she turns to look at him from time to time to make sure he's okay 'How are you feeling Mulder?' that catches his attention and he turns to see her with a half smile 'I'm fine Scully… really!' she looks at him and nods looking at the road again 'Mulder i don't want you chasing death men around anymore' he moves to sit better and turns a little towards her 'Scully?' his question is full of skepticism and surprise 'One of them attacked me Mulder, and he was so death' she says without turning to look at him but he realizes that she is fighting between what she saw and what she believes 'So you believe' he asks already knowing the answer

She lick her lower lip and gibing him a quick look 'Well, I can't deny this one' she says softly, he smiles denying with his head, he looks at the road thinking about all the things they have seen together 'You denied the invisible man' she rolls her eyes tilting her head to the side and breathing through her mouth in exasperation 'Oh come on Mulder, that was a different story' he leans his head against the seat sighing heavily 'Ok'

That answer makes her look at him, he has his eyes closed and is clenching his teeth causing his jaw to move constantly 'What?' she says defiantly, he decides that it is not time to talk about things that can create discussions of hours, he doesn't feel strong enough to do it, maybe at another time he will remember it and they can continue the conversation 'I'm tired Scully… I promise I won't chase any other zombie' she smiles and looks at the road again, at least he gave her the answer she expected, maybe he is right and it is not the right time to talk about x files 'Good'

They arrive at Scully's apartment so she can take care of him, he complained because he prefers his own apartment, but she does the same, so he didn't have a choice but to follow her. She goes ahead and opens the door, Mulder follows her, she turns on the lights and walks to the kitchen, he stays by the door watching the apartment for a few minutes, the truth is that he likes this place more than his own, but he has to play hard not to look very desperate 'Do you wanna eat something?' she says getting his attention again, he looks at her and walks towards the kitchen 'I'm not hungry Scully, just something to drink please' she nods 'all right' and gets a couple of glasses from the cupboard. 

He sits at the kitchen table and looks at her, she gets some juice from the refrigerator and gives one glass to Mulder, she drinks from her glass and looks at him 'What?'  he smiles shyly holding the glass and feeling the cold liquid inside 'Thank you Scully' She smiles and looks at the room a little nervous, then returns to look at him leaving the glass on the table 'Don't thank me Mulder, is the least I can do' he smiles while finishing the juice, then he puts the glass down and walks towards the living room.

She frowns and walks towards him holding his arm to stop him 'Where are you going Mulder?' he turns around and look her in the eyes 'to sleep in the couch'  she denies lowering her hand to his hand and guiding him to the room 'No Mulder, let's go to the bed, you can hurt your arm in the couch' he stops making her stop too and turn to look at him 'Are you sure Scully?' he ask nervously, she smiles and walks again holding his hand  'Yes, we are just going to sleep, now come on' he follows her looking at their entwined fingers and smiling.

He lay down in the bed while she goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth, while he waits he thinks about them, this is definitely nice, they taking care of each other and being together is so natural and comfortable, he feels her a little more relaxed, sharing things and moments with her is nice, he starts to fall asleep thinking about it, when she comes out, he is almost gone, she lay down on her side next to him facing him, she looks at him and smiles, he seems exhausted, she sighs thinking that being with him feels like being at home.

He opens his eyes and see her looking at him, he smiles and turns to face her 'Hey!' he says in a whisper, she smiles and caresses his cheek tenderly 'Hey! Go back to sleep, you need to rest' he narrows his eyes feeling the warmth of her hand on his face and smiles pleased 'Hug me Scully' she gets nervous and withdraws her hand from his face 'Are you cold? Wait, I will bring you a blanket' she tries to get out of bed, but he takes her hand before she can do it 'No, I'm not cold, just hug me' She blushes a little but does as he says, she hugs him being careful not to hurt him putting her hand under his arm on his waist and letting her head rest under his chin, feeling his body so close makes her heart beat faster, but the warmth of his body makes her feel safe and comfortable, they close their eyes smiling and the sleep soon catches them.


	3. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully questions Mulder about age

FBI Headquarters

Washington, DC

 

Scully gets off the elevator and walks up behind Mulder in the hall. He is dialing on his phone - probably her. She touches him on the back with a file folder to get his attention. He seems happy to see her and puts his phone back in his pocket, 'Uh. There you are. Heavy traffic?' he says smiling, she says smiling too and starting to walk again 'Slow going. Let's say I read your report and I can't support it' he stops on his tracks and hold her forearm 'Scully! Come on! You were the one who said it was worth to check out the cave after it was pumped with concrete' they walk again down the hall towards the elevator 'I know what I said Mulder' They get inside, there's no one else around 'Can we at least talk about it before deliver it to Skinner?' she says trying to make him feel better 'Sure' he says without looking at her, she rolls her eyes and plays with the folder in her hands.

The elevator stops in the basement, Scully walks ahead, Mulder is behind her and looks at her legs, she is wearing a skirt with a matching jacket and a white shirt, her red hair shines under the lights of the corridor, he stops and just stares at her, she is talking but he isn't listening, he feels how his displeasure dissolves just by contemplating her. Scully stops when she finds out he is no longer following her 'Mulder? What are you doing?' She says raising her eyebrow, he is giving her the check look, when his eyes come to her face he realizes that she is looking at him, he lick his lips and smile 'You were saying?' she purses her lips 'What are you doing? Are you coming?' he grimaces to one side as a sign of everything is fine 'Yeah Scully, I was just thinking, go ahead' he says quickly a little nervous, she looks at him in disbelief and turns again to open the door.

She puts the file on the desk and he sits in front of her and waits for her to speak 'So?' she says crossing her arms, she opens his mouth in surprise and move his hand in the air 'What? You are the one who brought me here Scully!' she denies with her head and sighs 'Why were you looking at me like that Mulder?' he tries to hide a smile but fails 'How?' She turns her eyes with despair and walks from one place to another until finally she leans against a file drawer 'Fine, don't tell me anything'

Mulder go and stands next to her, she doesn't look at him so he holds her face with his hand and turns it to him 'Come on Scully, what you want me to say? That I was gazing at you? I don't do that!' she raises her eyes looking into his 'Oh really?' he smiles and she can't stop herself and chuckles, he finds her laugh the most adorable in the world, he leans forward getting his face closer to hers 'I think…' He whispers in her ear 'You look very good today' She blushes and tries to escape from him, now he laughs 'There's no one here Scully' she puts her hand on his chest, trying to push him away from her 'What if someone comes' She looks nervous and he keeps smiling without moving from your side 'No one comes to this office, we are the most unwanted, remember?' 

She pushes him hard and walks to the other side of the office with disgust 'Don't say that Mulder' he smiles thinking how cute she is being angry 'Why? I told you that the first day you came here' she crosses her arms again over her chest and sighs 'I know... and at that time it made me smile, but it isn't funny' He walks closer to her and holds her waist, she blushes and looks at the door 'Oh come on Scully! Stop it! We were having a moment' she frowns and steps away 'Mulder I'm serious' he lets her go and she sits down, holds the file and starts to read it.

Mulder sighs and sits again in front of her behind the desk. Scully raise her head to look at him, he is looking at the pencils in the roof 'Mulder?' he doesn't look at her 'Hum?' she looks down breathing out 'You really think we are too old?' he lowers his head and looks at her with a frown 'What do you mean Scully?' she looks at him and moistens her lips with her tongue driving him crazy 'You said that when nothing happened to us in the cave' he smiles narrowing his eyes 'Oh Scully! That really worries you? We are not seventeen but we are still able to have fun' He says the last words with a smirk, she stays quiet looking at the floor, he frowns and goes to kneel in front of her.

'What's wrong Scully?' she moves nervously in the chair trying not to look a bit stupid 'Oh don't worry Mulder, I'm just' She sighs trying to find the words 'I'm just thinking about what we have, what we lost, everything you know' he holds her hand and kiss her knuckles 'But why?'  strangely the fact that he is kissing her hands does not make her feel any better 'I was just looking myself at the mirror this morning and…' She can't finish her line because he interrupts her 'Ah Scully stop!' He takes the folder of her other hand and puts it on the desk, then raise her off the chair holding her by both her hands and leads her out of the office 'Mulder!' She says raising her voice 'Where are we going?'

He gets their coats and walks outside the office holding her hand 'We are going to eat outside!' he press the elevator button and turns to look at her, she is in shock 'What?' is all she can say making him smile 'I won't let you say you are old' he caresses her cheek with tenderness 'You are beautiful Scully, and we are at the best time of our lives' He puts a strand oh hair behind her ear, just when the doors open  'Now come on, let's have some fun, this basement can be boring sometimes' she giggles this time following him, even she wasn't telling the whole truth, she is happy knowing she can count on him to feel better. 


	4. A Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Scully share some romantic moments

Italian Restaurant  
8:15 pm

Mulder holds Scully's hand while walking towards the restaurant, he has decided they need more moments like this, dates, places where they can be away of the X files, she has a bright smile in her face, her eyes are shining and she holds his hand with both hers. She is wearing a backless grey dress and high red stilettos, Mulder is excited, she looks into her shiny eyes and smile, they know each other well, so this definitely feels nice, he is wearing dark blue pants, white shirt without tie and a pairing jacket, they both look great, like a normal couple in love.

'You look beautiful Scully' he says squeezing her hand, she tilt her head up smiling 'You already told me that Mulder, three times' he smiles knowing that he's maybe acting like a teenage boy now 'I can't help it' They get to the door of the restaurant and she let go of his hand, he takes the opportunity to put his hand on her lower back, just in the place that he likes, but his time he feels her skin and is so soft that he just wanna kiss her, she shivers feeling his touch right in Mulder's spot, she bite her lower lip trying to contain herself.  
They walk inside and suddenly she feels nervous, he feels the muscles of her back tense and he turns to look at her, she looks down in embarrassment, he holds her chin with his index finger 'Don't do that Scully, everybody is looking at you, because they think the same I think' she looks at him with a blush 'You are beautiful Scully' she smiles shyly and he bends down a little to give her a quick kiss. 

A receptionist approaches them with a smile, 'Do you have a reservation? name please' Scully looks away towards the table while Mulder gives the woman all the information 'Ah, there you are, Mr. and Mrs. Mulder, please come with me' they share a look and a smile, hearing Mrs. Mulder makes Scully think about the future. Both follow the man holding hands. When they get to the table Mulder reaches for the chair inviting her to sit first, then he walks to the other side of the table and sits, they can only smile at each other feeling happy.  
The attendant brings a bottle of red wine that Mulder asked for and fill their glasses wishing them to enjoy the evening, they make a toast and drink from their glasses while still looking at each other 'This is nice Scully' he says smiling at her 'Yes it is, I actually can't believe we are acting like normal people' she says with a smirk, he laughs denying with his head 'Scully, we are normal people... with a "different" kind of job' she sighs and runs her finger over the edge of the cup 'Maybe you're right Mulder' There's an awkward silence between them that the waiter breaks by bringing the menu 'What do you wanna eat Scully?' he says looking at her over his menu, she seems lost looking at all those names, he smiles and helps her 'Hey, I'm an Italian food expert Scully, what about Spaghetti Vongole or a Prawn Linguine?' She looks at him funny and gives him a little giggle, he laughs closing the menu and reaching for her hand 'Let's just ask our favorite Scully, will you do the honors?' she smiles nodding 'Alright'

He calls the waiter and she is the one who speaks 'We want a pizza with crushed tomatoes, olives, mozzarella, hot soppressata, mushrooms and wild oregano' the waiter leaves and Mulder smiles widely, she blushes and smiles 'That's my Scully, I just hope you eat all your pizza and I don't have to eat it alone' she giggles and finishes her wine. They eat their pizza, drink two bottles of wine and talk about their lives, nothing related with work or the X files, Mulder pays the check and then they go to her apartment.  
It's past ten so she asks him to stay, they take off their clothes leaving only their underwear, he pulls the blanket on top of both and they go to sleep intertwined, looking at each other and smiling.

 

FBI Headquarters  
X files office  
Next day

 

'Good morning Scully' He says listening her heels clacking in the corridor outside the office, she smiles listening to him 'No one is coming behind me Mulder' she reaches the door and remains stand by the door 'I know Agent Scully, but you are the one who says there must be someone spying on us' she raised an eyebrow and smiles a little walking towards his desk 'How are you today Agent Mulder?' she says leaning down in the desk 'I'm great, thank you for asking, I slept like a baby next to a beautiful woman' that comment makes her smile wider 'What about you Scully? Did you sleep well?' she throws him a seductive look and talks to him looking him up and down 'I slept great too, warm and comfortable' he smirks and winks 'it's good to know'  
She goes and sit on the desk next to him 'What time did you leave this morning? I fell asleep and did not hear the alarm clock' He puts a hand in her tight and caresses it 'I didn't want to wake you up, and also needed fresh clothes, I woke up at five sleepy girl and got here at seven' she looks down and puts her hand on top of his 'I'm sorry, I wanted us to have breakfast together, I think I drank a lot of wine' he smiles interlacing his fingers with hers and bringing her hand to his lips to kiss it 'Don't worry, I like you to sleep, that's not very common'   
He stands up and hugs her, she stays half sitting on the desk and crosses her arms on his back, laying her head on his chest, he kisses her forehead and then goes to open a drawer of the desk taking out a paper bag and putting it on the desk, she looks at him surprised 'What you thought, you were not going to get rid of breakfast with me Scully' she smiles and kiss him 'Thank you Mulder' he kiss her again and then they both sit down to eat.


	5. A chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After questioning her faith, Scully asks Mulder an important question

Scully's apartment, Vancouver  
Crime scene

Mulder has been talking to a policeman. He sees Scully with a shawl wrapped around her pajamas, she goes into her bedroom and close the door 'Excuse me' he says moving towards Scully 'Yeah. Sure' is the cop's answer while he walks away. Scully closes the window and takes off the shawl. Mulder comes in looking at her with worry 'If you want to pack some things, we can get out of here' she nods without looking at him 'Yeah' she pulls her Bible back out of the drawer and looks at Mulder.

'You can't judge yourself' she sits on the bed looking down at the bible in her hands 'Maybe I don't have to' she says in a whisper, he looks down at her 'The Bible allows for vengeance' she thinks of his words and raises her head to look at him 'But the law doesn't' he leans down into her putting a hand on the bed 'The way I see it... he didn't give you a choice. And my report will reflect that... in case you're worried. Donnie Pfaster would've surely killed again if given the chance' She looks down reflexive 'He was evil, Mulder. I'm sure about that, without a doubt. But there's one thing that I'm not sure of' he looks at her with interest 'What's that?' she looks up with doubt in her eyes 'Who was at work in me. Or what... what made me... what made me pull the trigger' he thinks about it, he isn't a men of faith but she is 'You mean if it was God?' she looks at him again with fear 'I mean... what if it wasn't?' 

He closes his eyes and sits in the bed next to her, she looks down again feeling shattered, he turns to look at her again 'Scully look at me and listen' she keeps looking at the floor so he holds her face with his hand and turns it to him 'You don't have to blame yourself, he was going to kill you, and even if we send him to jail, he might escape or come out again for good behavior, so this was the best' Tears start to fall down her cheeks and she sobs letting out all her fear and pain, he holds her in a sweet embrace very close to him, she puts a hand in his chest and cry harder, he kiss her forehead and caresses her back, they remain like this until she stops crying and is able to go change her clothes and pack some things to go sleep at Mulder's place.

'Mulder, what if I'm really a bad person' she says looking deep into his eyes coming out of the bathroom, he walks towards her and holds her by the shoulders 'Scully, I need you to stop' she looks down defeated biting the intern side of her cheek 'Mulder I can't, my way to act make me wonder about my faith, what I have been doing all these years, this has no sense to me, it's like if I wasn't myself, I did it with cold blood' he looks down to the floor feeling her doubts 'There are things we can't explain, maybe he wanted to die, maybe he was really the evil in person, maybe you were possessed. I don't know what happened Scully, but there's one thing I can tell you for sure, you are not a bad person, in fact, you are one of the best people I know' she nods with her head closing her eyes smiling sadly, but this time she doesn't cry, she walks to the door holding her bag and leaves the house.

 

Mulder's apartment  
Alexandria  
Later that day

He opens the door and let her get in first, she goes straight to the couch while he puts her bag on the bed, when he comes back to the living room she has her eyes closed and her head thrown back on the sofa, he looks at her with sweetness and concern, since they started the case she was affected but still continued, but in the end she did something that even he didn't expect, It made him feel guilty, he just wanted to protect her and he failed, now she is deeply affected and he can't do anything 'Scully? Do you need anything?' she keeps her eyes closed and sighs 'I'm fine Mulder' She doesn't turn to look at him, so he goes and sits next to her, she opens her eyes and stays looking up to the roof, he holds her hand and take it to his lips to kiss it, now she stares at him and he smiles 'Well I guess I have to work harder to get your attention' She gives him a half smile and rest her head in his shoulder 'I'm sorry Mulder, I just don't know what to say or think right now' 

He kiss her forehead and holds her hand 'It's okay Scully, I just want to be by your side, the silence doesn't bother me, actually there's always a loud silence between us, we understand each other in the silence, you know?' she squeezes his hand and smile with bitterness 'You're right' She turns a little to him to lie on his chest, he takes the chance to pass his arm behind her back and hug her, they stay like that for a long time until she talks again 'Mulder... I went to the doctor again' She plays with her fingers in his chest nervously 'And?' His eyes are closed, his hand caressing her back, she looks at his face but looks down at his chest again 'The doctor says there's a chance with in vitro' Now he opens his eyes and stares at her, she raise her eyes again and their eyes met 'Scully that's great news, what will you do then?' she bites her lip nervously 'Well, I guess I can give it a try.  
She looks down again with a blush on her cheeks, he understands her expression and gets nervous, neither of them speaks for a long time, but they continue to hold each other 'So who is the lucky winner?' He says half joking half hoping, she pulls away from his embrace and goes to the bedroom. He curses himself for making jokes in the least indicated moments but this is shocking to him, he stays on the sofa for a while looking at the void and listening to her in the next room, apparently she is changing her clothes. When she finally falls silent he gets on his feet and walks towards the room. She is sitting on the edge of the bed with her hands clasped and looking at the floor 'Mulder I…I'm sorry. Should I leave? She looks at him with eyes full of tears, he sighs and moves his head denying 'What? Scully, I want you to stay, you can't be alone right now, just, just let me think about it, ok? I'm nervous about this too, it's an important decision, you know?' she looks down again rubbing her hands nervous 'Of course, I'm sorry'.

She cries looking at the floor, he is in an awkward position but wants to make her happy, so he takes off his shirt and takes a blanket from the closet, then goes to bed and lays on the bed reaching for her hand so she lays with him, she obeys and he hug her from behind, she relaxes a little and stops crying 'Everything will be all right Scully, don't worry, just sleep' He says whispering in her ear, she closes her eyes and holds his arm with her hand to pull him closer, he kisses her cheek and close his eyes, they both fall asleep in no time.


	6. We

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder gives her and answer, what will they do when the procedure fails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be appropriate only for adults, explicit content so be careful!

Scully's apartment

 

There is a knock at the door. Scully reaches to open it. It is Mulder. They both seem a little nervous and uncomfortable with each other 'Hi' she says shyly 'Hi' he answers in the same tone, she opens the door completely letting him in 'Come on in' she closes the door behind him 'Thanks' she walks ahead then turns to look into his eyes 'Can I take your coat?' she says with a nervous voice and switching her gaze between him and everywhere else 'No, I can't stay. I gotta get back to the office for a while' he says quickly, he is nervous too but tries to smile a little, she swallows getting strength to ask the next question 'Obviously you've had some time to think about my request'

She was direct and he tries to do the same, but feels that he is not capable 'Um, it's... it's not something that I get asked to do every day. Um, but I am absolutely flattered'  She looks at him embarrassed 'No, honestly' She misinterprets his words and tries to sound calm 'Okay, if... if you're trying to politely say "no," it's okay. I, I understand' She avoids his eyes and he gets more nervous 'See what's weird is... this sounds, and this sounds really weird, I know, but I, I just wouldn't want this to come between us' She is devastated, but tries to cover it up 'Yeah. I know... I, I understand. I do' Realizing that she has misunderstood, he reaches out as if to stroke her cheek, but pulls back 'Well ... the answer is yes'

Her face is a whirlwind of emotions, she is happy, he waited a week to decide and since that night everything was weird, but there he was telling her yes, her heart was pounding strongly in her chest. They smile at each other. She comes into his arms and they hold each other for a moment. Things are still a little awkward as they part 'Um... Well, I'll call Dr. Parenti and..' He nods, smiling 'I assume that he'll want to meet you and go through the, uh, the donor procedure' he smirks a little trying to light the situation 'At that part, I'm a pro'

They both smile as he shyly leaves her apartment and closes the door. In the hall he knows she must be crying of happiness, that's all he wants, to make her happy, but he can't deny he is also happy, a week ago he was scared and confused but she stayed and that was his answer, he loves feel her close, and think about "their" kid is like almost surreal, but still great, he knows his decision is the right one, he gets in the elevator smiling and that smile stays the whole day.

She stays in the middle of the living room crying, he said yes, she knew it was a difficult decision for him to make, she didn't ask him directly but he knew it that night, they have been spending a lot of time together, being more than just friends so it was the greatest choice, she trust in Mulder more than in herself, so yes, she was crying, tears of joy and love.

 

Scully's apartment

A couple of days later

 

Scully enters her dark apartment, Mulder wakes up from where he has been sleeping in her couch 'Scully? I must have dozed off. I was waiting for you to get back' He looks at her sad face 'It didn't take, did it?' Her face is even sadder now and she doesn't correct him 'I guess it was too much to hope for' He opens his arms for her, she walks into them and let him hold her, she starts to cry 'It was my last chance' She says with a broken voice, he holds her tightly then kisses her forehead. He presses his forehead against hers 'Never give up on a miracle'

She kisses his cheek and neck, then embraces him again, their hug is so full of love and understanding, when they pull apart again he kisses her lips, first softly tasting her salty lips full of tears, she correspond his kiss with love, she needed him, much more than ever, she was heartbroken, her last chance was gone and she wanted it so bad. She broke their kiss smiling, he kisses her forehead again and smile, she looks deep into his eyes and starts to kiss him again holding him tight, he doesn't stop her and happily join her kiss, but she regrets it and stops. He looks at her confused and let her get away from his embrace 'It's fine Scully' She looks at him embarrassed 'Really, I'm okay with this' she looks down to the floor denying with her head 'I'm sorry Mulder... I just…' He puts his finger upon her lips stopping her, then holds her by her lower back and push her close to him kissing her again 'We both want this' He says while kissing her 'Let's just, don't deny it anymore'

When she sees his confidence, she embraces him, crossing her arms behind his neck, getting closer to him, the kiss intensifies quickly and their breathing's accelerates. She starts to guide them towards the bedroom, but he raise her in his arms to make it faster, she gasps and giggles a little, he smiles pleased. He puts her in the bed and stares, she is breathing heavily and smiling, he takes off his shirt and leans on her to kiss her, she embraces him feeling his muscles with her fingertips, he begins to unbutton her blouse while he kisses every corner of her skin, she shudders with each touch, he undoes her pants with his teeth making her moan with pleasure, he smiles knowing that it is he who brings her pleasure, he lowers her pants and continues to kiss her until he reaches her feet, now he takes off his pants quickly and goes back up to her face, now she is the one who takes him by surprise and turns to stay on top of him in bed, she removes her blouse completely and throw it to the floor next to the bed, then unbutton her bra and exposes her breasts with confidence, he can only look at her ecstatic, she smiles seeing his expression, she slowly goes down and removes the boxers and then get off the bed and remove her thongs, he sits in a hurry and takes her waist and turn her to put her back on the bed and stay on top of her again. He kisses her neck, her breast, her flat belly, her thighs, she moans loudly and when he climbs back she buries her nails in his back and looks for his mouth with her tongue to kiss him again with longings, he finally begins to penetrate her gently, both in a rhythmic movement full of tenderness and desire, his bodies perfectly interpenetrate each other, they reach the climax at the same time and when at last they feel satisfied, they stay embraced until sleep catches them.


	7. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teena Mulder is death and Scully tries to help Mulder

Mulder's apartment

 

He is in jeans and his gray t-shirt. He is rewinding and listening to the message on his answering machine over and over. It's not easy for him.

Teena Mulder's voice _'Fox, it's your mother. I'd hoped you'd call upon your return but I haven't heard from you. I'm sure you're busy. There are... so many emotions in me I wouldn't know where to start. So much that I've left unsaid, for reasons I hope one day you'll understand'._

He rewinds again and puts his head close to the machine as if trying to hear any noise in the background

Teena Mulder's voice _'There are... so many emotions in me I wouldn't know where to start. So much that I've left unsaid for reasons I hope one day you'll understand'._

There is a knock at the door. Mulder walks to the door and opens it for Scully. She looks very sad and tired 'I'm glad you're here. My mother was trying to tell me something. I think I figured it out. It's something about my sister that she was never able to tell me' he walks to the living room and he plays the tape for her sitting next to the desk, she closes the door and walks slowly standing right at the entrance of the living room 'She knew what I'd find with this case out in California'

Scully frowns trying to understand him 'How could she know that, Mulder?' she says almost in a whisper, he starts to raise his voice explaining her what he thinks 'A child disappearing without a trace… without evidence... in defiance of all logical explanation? She knew because of what's driven me... what I've always believed'

Scully raises an eyebrow and closes her eyes impatiently, then she walks toward him 'Mulder...' he interrupts her 'Scully, these parents who've lost...' he swallows painfully '… who've lost their children...' she raise her hands joining them like in a prayer next to her face and lick her lips understanding where is this going 'They've had visions of their sons and daughters in scenarios that never happened but which they describe in notes that came through them as automatic writing and words that came through them psychically from old souls protecting the children' she sits in a chair facing him 'My mother must have written a note like that herself. Describing the scenario of my sister's disappearance of her, of her abduction by aliens. Don't you see, Scully? It never happened. All these visions that I've had have just been... they've been to help me cope, to help me deal with the loss but... I've been looking for my sister in the wrong place. That's... what my mother was trying to tell me. That's what she was trying to warn me about. That's why they killed her'

She looks at him sadly, understanding that his pain makes him reach to the wrong conclusions 'Your mother killed herself, Mulder. I conducted the autopsy. She was dying of an incurable disease. An untreatable and horribly disfiguring disease called Paget's Carcinoma. She knew it. There were doctor's records. She didn't want to live' Mulder stares at her for a moment, then puts his face in his hands. Suddenly he stands and shakes the desk violently. Scully touches his arm to calm him down.

He pulls away in agony, starting to break down 'Mulder …' he raises his index finger trying to sound convincing 'She was trying to tell me something. She was...' his voice breaks as he cries and he sits bereaved '...trying to tell me something' Scully is almost crying herself, she crouches down facing him and caressing his arm 'Mulder, she was trying to tell you to stop. To stop looking for your sister. She was just trying to take away your pain'

Mulder turns to her desperately and holds her tightly around her waist and cries. Scully holds him and puts her lips against his neck. She rocks him gently. They stay like that for a while, he is shaking, she is very concerned, she does understand his pain but this is the saddest she has ever seen him. When he calms a little she push him away gently cupping his face with her hands 'I am so sorry Mulder… but I'm here' he nods, tears fall down his cheeks, she kneels and wipes his tears with her thumbs 'I know Scully... but... I don't wanna believe this, I can't... I won't'

She frowns and sighs holding his face towards her making him look at her 'Mulder please stop, please' He cries harder and she tries to reassure him, but it's useless, she cries with him seeing that her efforts are in vain 'Mulder don't do this to me, I don't know how to help you… Mulder! What you want me to do?'  he holds her hands and he carries them down to his thighs looking her in the eyes 'Don't worry about it Scully, I just want to be alone' she denies letting go of his hands and standing up 'I won't leave you' he sits straight and looks at the ground with a bitter smile 'I won't kill myself if that's your fear'

She looks at him in disbelief as her chest tightens in pain 'How can you say that Mulder? To me'  he gives her a quick look again looking at the floor 'I'm sorry' She crosses her arms under her chest and closes her eyes trying to think clearly, then sighs and leans down to hold his hand 'Let's go to bed' He obeys her and puts his arm over her shoulder feeling that maybe she can lighten the weight inside him, she guides him towards the room without separating her gaze from him, he looks at the void with a lost and glazed look. She puts him on the bed and forces him to lie down while going to the kitchen to prepare an infusion of chamomile.

She cries alone for him, for the first time she doesn't know how to help him, she feels useless, she wants her Mulder back, the dork, the guy full of jokes, the one who wants to believe, she looks at the fire on the stove and a sob escapes her lips, tears start to fall down her cheeks and she whip them away as fast as they fall, a hand touches her shoulder and she jumps in fear, is him, she cleans her tears and breathes through her mouth trying to calm herself, but he hugs her from behind crossing his arms over her chest, making new tears fill her eyes, she bends her head and puts her hands on his arms, he kisses her hair 'Don't cry Scully, with me is enough, I'm grateful you're here with me, otherwise I think I will lose myself' She turns around and looks into his red and glassy eyes with pain 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying, I just wanna help you' he kisses her forehead with tenderness 'I know' 

She interrupts their hug turning around to prepare the tea, then they go to the bedroom together and sit on the bed, side by side, he drinks his tea while she watches him silently, then goes for a blanket and forces him to lie down again. She lies down beside him and he crosses his arm under her head so that she lies on his chest, he kisses her hair but continues crying, she knows that he will not sleep, neither of them will, but her presence can dissipate a little his pain, even if it is very little.


	8. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder tries to surprise Scully, but maybe she will surprise him

Willow Park, California

4:48 AM

 

Mulder and Scully are standing beside their car as Wetzel is carried out on a stretcher, the camera man finds them again 'You think the Deputy stopped it whatever it was?' she says while looking away 'Maybe it just went away until the next full moon. I don't know. You've got to figure there's enough fear in the world that if it doesn't show up in Willow Park it's going to show up someplace else' she smiles sadly 'You didn't get the proof that you wanted, Mulder' she sounds disappointed for him, Mulder looks ahead straight to the camera and points to it with his index finger 'Well, hey, you know, it all depends on how they edit it together' the camera fade out and the officers walk away leaving them alone 'It's going to be a hard one to write up' she says smiling at him, he puts his right arm over her shoulders 'Give me some hope Scully... we gave them a good show' She raises and eyebrow smiling 'That's for sure Mulder but what if nobody watch it' He sighs looking at the floor 'Then we will never be famous' 

Scully smiles and he hug her laughing, she pulls away and strokes his hair with her hand, moving her head side to side as she giggles, he closes his eyes feeling her hand, then he opens his eyes making sure that there is no one around to draw her to him and kiss her 'What was that for?' she says surprised raising her voice a little 'I was missing your touch with all those cameras around us' she looks around too a little tense 'Oh stop it' she says smiling again 'Let's get out of here' he give her a half smile 'I support that, I'm so tired' he says stretching his neck 'It's 5 am, of course you are' They get in the car and Mulder drives to Scully's apartment, he doesn't ask but stays with her, she doesn't send him away either.

 

Scully's Apartment

 

Both enter the apartment, Scully takes off her coat and hangs it in the hall, then turns to see Mulder 'Can we take the day off?' he closes the door and raise his eyebrows thinking about her question 'I'm gonna call Skinner, but we deserve it anyway Scully' She yawns and turns walking towards the kitchen 'I don't feel like I can work right now' he looks at her smiling and dials Skinner's number while she drinks a glass of water, he hangs up and walks to the kitchen, she is cleaning the glass and put it back inside the cupboard 'What did he said?' He puts his elbows on the table pulling his body forward 'We can stay here, he said we deserved, the police call him to tell him about the case, he said I did a good job not embarrassing him' She laughs closing her eyes and raising her eyebrows 'What?' she opens her eyes smiling 'You certainly behaved today Mulder, I'm impressed' he looks at her provocatively and approaches her 'I can stop doing it now and start behaving badly'  he holds her by the waist with both his hands, she bites her lower lip and stares at him a bit blushing and smiling, he rocks with her a little from side to side still holding her 'So you're not tired for that huh?, I certainly did not ask for a day off with that intention Mulder' he puts his forehead on hers and looks her in the eyes 'Fun killer!' She giggles and he kisses her with passion, then he take her by the hand and guide her to the bedroom, they lay down holding each other and fall asleep.

 

Five hours later

 

He wakes up and feels her body next to his, she has her head on his chest and a hand on his waist 'Wake up Scully' he whispers in her ear, she mutters a "No, I'm tired" almost unintelligible and turns on the bed giving him her back, he smiles with her childish action, removes the blanket and tickles her back 'Muldeeer!' she says raising her voice and squinting her eyes, he moves closer to her, putting his hand on her waist and biting the lobe of her ear 'Come on Scully! There's a wonderful day outside, we need to enjoy our day off' She sighs with her eyes closed and turns expecting a kiss, he doesn't make her wait and gives her a soft kiss on the lips, she turns completely flat on her back on the bed and opens her eyes to look at him 'Good morning sleeping beauty, I need you awake before midday' he leans down to kiss her again and he holds his neck with her arm resting her hand on his back 'Uumm, we can enjoy our day in bed' she says on his lips, he pulls away and caresses her cheek with his thumb 'I can't do that lady, we need to go'. They take a shower together and eat their breakfast, she tries to ask where are they going but he won't tell her anything, so she just get in the car and let him drive.

 

Shenandoah National Park

12:30 pm

 

Scully looks around raising and eyebrow 'Why are we here Mulder?, I thought we had the day off' she says a little exasperated 'We do Scully' he says trying not to laugh 'So this is not a case?' She asks in disbelief 'No' He says without looking at her 'So what are we doing HERE?' she is losing her patience and he smiles 'Have fun Scully!' she sighs trying to relax 'I certainly doubt that Mulder' she crosses her arms looking at the forest 'Give me a chance, I'm sure you will have fun' he says caressing her thigh, she turns around looking at him, he holds her hand and smile 'I will teach you something new today Scully, I'm a good teacher, remember the baseball class?' she smiles a little 'Now today, you will learn something new missy and you will enjoy it' She giggles and caress his face with her hand, they drive inside the park until they reach a lake, Mulder opens the trunk and takes out several things leaving Scully open-mouthed, the last thing that comes down is a picnic basket that illuminates her eyes and makes her smile widely' Mulder! When did you get all this?' she says raising her voice in surprise 'A couple of days ago' he says with a shyly smile, she puts her hands on her waist and smiles 'You never cease to surprise me Mulder' he puts the basket down and close the trunk 'That's good! I don't wanna bore you' She approaches and hugs him from behind laying her head on his back, he laughs and she does too 'Don't get sentimental, we have a class ahead'

She breaks her embrace and help him with some bags, they get closer to the lake and put all the things there, she opens the basket and pulls out the blanket to put it on the floor, he takes out the fishing poles and she shakes her head when she sees them 'I can teach you a couple of things about fishing Mulder' he looks at her with surprise 'Oh really?' She smiles with superiority raising an eyebrow 'Oh yeah! My dad used to take us fishing when we were little' he reaches her and holds her by her waist and looking at her smiling 'Then I guess we won't have any problem getting our lunch' she giggles and punch his chest softly pushing him away, they both smile and prepare the bait, Mulder realizes that she was not kidding, she's a professional, he smiles watching her, she is charming and he can't be more pleased.

She surprises him gazing at her and raises an eyebrow ' What? I'm just glad I'm not the only one with surprises here' She looks at him smiling for a while 'Thank you Mulder, this is nice... and I'm sorry, I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes...' he interrupts her 'Yes you can' he open her mouth in disbelief 'Muldeeeer!' He smiles and holds her kissing her, she kisses him back and hug him.

They spend the rest of the day talking, laughing, kissing and eating, she gets almost all the fish they ate and Mulder can't be more pleased, they lay in the blanket looking at the sky and guessing shapes in the clouds, they get back at home past 6 in the evening and he stays, they make love and take a shower, then Mulder orders a pizza and puts a movie, she falls asleep in the middle of it and he carries her to the bedroom, then he lies down next to her, hugging her from behind and fall asleep smiling.


	9. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Scully have a little discussion over another woman

Videogame Design Company

Frohike rapidly types it in. Sound of gunfire stops. The game imaging goes to static, then stops. Ivan stares at the monitors in horror. The Gunmen and Phoebe enter the playing area. It is empty 'Oh, my God. What have we done?' says Byers with fear, they look at each other with evident panic in their eyes 'We've killed the game and Mulder and Scully along with it' says Langly with eyes wide open, Phoebe keeps searching and call their attention 'Over here!' She finds the discarded laser rifle in front of the entry doors. She runs to it along with the Gunmen 'Scully!' she screams, all of them do the same 'Mulder! Mulder! Scully!' Phoebe and the Gunmen manually raise the entry doors. Mulder and Scully exhausted, are lying on their backs. They both have yellow paint marks on their chests and her hair is very floofy. They sit up and Mulder smiles 'That's entertainment!' he says happily, Scully glances at him.  
  
The Gunmen help them up and together they walk out of the area. She arches her neck tiredly. Mulder takes off his glasses 'Thanks for letting us out Phoebe, I know this must be hard for you' he says to her with an understanding half smile, she agrees with her head and goes away 'Come on guys, let's get outta here' he says looking at the group. Mulder and Scully take off their uniforms and then go to the parking lot, the Gunmen say goodbye and then they get in the car 'I hope this is the last time you get me into a virtual reality game Mulder' She says adjusting her safety belt, he looks at her doing the same 'But you were great in there Scully, you saved me, it was hot' he starts the engine and drives, she raises and eyebrow 'As hot as your virtual friend?' she says with a trace of jealousy remarkable in her voice 'Hotter' He says winking at her with a half smile 'Yeah right! You just say that because you screwed it up' he turns to look at her 'What? Scully! I will never change you for a woman like that, she is a… well you know' she sighs and look at him 'I'm not mad Mulder' She says smiling 'Relax! If I was a guy then I would have done the same' he smirks and looks head 'Then I'm thankful it wasn't a guy cause I can get really jealous'

He moves closer to her to kiss her but she stops him 'Then I'm jealous, take me home now Mulder' she says crossing her arms on her chest, he sighs and complains but she doesn't pay attention so he take her home, she gets down of the car without saying goodbye and he drives home alone and sad.

In the apartment he doesn't know what to do, he is used to be with Scully most of the time now, he decides to call her but when he hears her voice he hang up the phone, she is right to be mad, he acted like a jerk and still she went to save him, he stays in the couch looking at the ceiling, an hour goes, he stands up and leaves the apartment.

Scully's Apartment

She is mad, with herself, how can she be jealous? They are not a formal couple, so she feels stupid, the phone rings, no one talks, it must be him, she smiles thinking about him, he must be feeling awful, she sits in the couch for about an hour, there's a knock at the door, it's him, she opens the door, he's carrying a flowers bouquet and a shameful expression 'Mulder? What's this?' she says surprised, he looks down to the floor unable to look her in the eye 'Forgive me Scully' she frowns and sighs 'Mulder, what are you doing?' he then look at her frowning too 'Asking for your forgiveness' She smiles receiving the flowers and lead him inside, he closes the door behind him and follows her to the kitchen.

He looks at her with a serious face, she can't believe what he's doing, she wasn't completely mad, she was just a little jealous so this was a huge surprise, she looks at him and laughs seeing his expression 'Mulder, this was unnecessary, really, I actually was surprised when you didn't come in earlier today, so I'm very touched by your gesture' he denies and looks away 'No Scully, I don't wanna hurt you in any way, and I acted like a fool, my eyes are yours, only yours'

He looks down at the floor and she feels her lips trembling, he is really telling her that, how? She is in complete shock. She walks towards him and holds his face with both her hands, his hazel eyes look deep into her blue ones, she give him a little smile and one tear fall down her cheek, he remains looking at her with a sad expression 'Mulder I am actually mad with myself, I can't and haven't the right to reproach you about anything' she pulls herself away from him but he hold her hand 'Yes you can' she denies looking at the floor 'No Mulder, we aren't an official couple, you are free to do what you want, and you were just looking at the girl, like any other man would do' He put his hand on her cheek making her look at him 'But I don't wanna be like any other man, I want us to be officially something, I'm here, I get used to you, I don't feel myself away from you, I need you Scully'

Now she is crying, tears wet her cheeks and lips, he wipe them with his thumbs and then hugs her resting his chin on her head. She holds him tight and more tears wet his shirt, he kisses her hair and she sobs. He knows she won't say anything and it's okay, she can't express her feelings easily, but her tears, her eyes and her shaking body tell him she feels the same.

She raises her face to look at him and he smile putting a strand of hair behind her ear and then kisses her tenderly 'Mulder we can't, the FBI won't allow us…' he puts a finger on her lips 'Shh!… they don't have to know, this is for us' She closes her eyes and agree with her head 'or are you telling me you can't be professional and will be all over me  all the time?' She giggles and rest her head on his chest again, he caresses her hair and sighs, she looks at him again frowning  'What?' she half smile frowning 'Mulder, how did we get here?' he looks at her strangely 'What do you mean?' she pulls away a little more looking around 'I still can't believe it, I'm afraid' she holds her cheek again caressing her skin with his thumb 'There is nothing to be afraid of, we have always care for each other, we were in denial Scully, lets just relax and see where this takes us'

She sighs and smiles, he smiles too even he is also afraid, he doesn't want this relationship affects what they always have had, he never thought he will have this feelings for her, he agreed to try the in vitro with her, but never saw himself in a serious relationship, but with Scully was different, they know each other well, they protect each other, they share their lives, their happiness, their pain, even their fears, she has always been his best friend and that's all that matters after all, that relaxed him a little, he was doing the right thing so he embraces her tighter and kiss her forehead.


	10. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Scully have a disagreement and Mulder gets sick

 

The unmarked brick building

 

Mulder and Scully have entered and gone up to the third floor. The building is now deserted, no people, no furniture, nothing. Scully leads Mulder to where CGB Spender's office was. It is empty too, she is very upset and feels like a fool 'He was here! These were his offices. What the hell is this?' Mulder sighs trying to calm down 'He used you' she is getting angry 'Mulder, he laid it all out for me. I recorded it. I mailed you the tape' Mulder nods 'This old woman, Marjorie Butters, I met her. I saw her pictures, her birth certificate...' he denies with her head smiling with bitterness 'You saw what you needed to see in order to make you believe'  he is tired of the same thing happening again and again, and it is not enough just with him but also now with Scully

'Well, then what about this boy? This boy with cancer? You can't deny that. That's undeniable proof' Mulder is also losing patience 'Even if we could convince his parents to let us march him out how long before that chip in his neck mysteriously disappears? This was the perfectly executed conspiracy, Scully. The only thing I can't figure out is why you're still alive' she frown with disappointment 'Mulder, I looked into his eyes. I swear what he told me was true' she has a kind heart, no doubt of that, but she's being naive, he can't follow her theory, that bastard will always be a fucking liar 

'He did it all for himself, to get the science on that disk. His sincerity was a mask, Scully. The man's motives never changed' she frown looking deep into his eyes, her voice comes out as a whisper 'You think he used me to save himself, at the expense of the human race' he crosses his arms over his chest and sighs 'No, he knows what that science is worth, how powerful it is. He'd let nothing stand in his way' she shakes her head denying and lick her lower lip 'You may be right... but for a moment, I saw something else in him. A longing for something more than power. Maybe for something he could never have'

Mulder can't believe her 'Come on Scully, the man has no feelings, he thinks love is a weakness' she is trying very hard to explain everything that happened on that trip, maybe that man is not so bad after all 'What if he changed his mind?, he might be feeling lonely - Mulder laughs starting to walk away from her 'Well if that's the case it's too late, don't you think?' she sighs defeated and follow him 'Yeah, you're right'

They get out of the building and go to the car, he opens the door for her and she looks at him strangely 'Don't get used to it' He has a serious expression but she smiles anyway and gets in, he closes the door and goes to the driver's side but stays outside. She waits but then she sees him, she opens his side door and call him, he looks angry, she knows what he's thinking and why he is still outside so she waits. After a couple of minutes he gets in and look at her, she turns to see him and waits for him to speak 'Tell me everything' he says clenching his jaw with force, she looks down swallowing

He waits for her answer, squeezing the handlebar with one hand 'Mulder I know what you're thinking and I don't know the answer' he frown and raise his voice 'What do you mean Scully?' she tries to look at him but she can't, this is her fault after all 'He treated me well Mulder' he inhales trying to stay calm 'There's something you're not telling me'

She looks down at her hands nervously, he puts his hand upon hers also nervous about what she can say, she talks while holding his hand tightly 'I think he drugged me or something' Mulder keeps looking at her frowning and tightening his jaw 'I just woke up the next morning in a hotel bed with different clothes… I know he didn't…' She can't say it and he understands, but that bastard touched her and looked at her, and who knows what else, he let go her hand and hits strong the steer wheel letting out a frustration scream.

She jumps a little with fear and looks at him with concerned eyes, she knows his feelings, she has been feeling the same since that day, but he didn't harm her, she is alive and grateful, she wants to cry but stop herself, he's been mad with her, he is hurt, she broke their trust lying to him 'Mulder… I'm sorry'

She can't help it and tears start falling down her cheeks, he turns to look at her and she close her eyes 'Why Scully? Just tell me why?' She tries to reach for his hand but he pulls away 'I thought I was doing the right thing, I just wanted to help others' She sobs and cover her face with her hands 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry Mulder'

His heart ache seeing her, but she made a huge mistake, he's really angry, how could she lie to him? Why she trusted that bastard? He wants to hug him so badly but he can't, he just drives, he had hopes, after telling her about his feelings, she just lied, maybe he was overreacting but he just needed some time, he takes her home and continues to his own apartment, he was so worried about her, but she was fine, he just needed to rest.

Scully can't stop crying, he was so mad since she arrived with the empty disk, he barely talked to her, giving her that "I can't believe it Scully" look. He was right to be mad, she get it, they were building a relationship and she destroyed it, she felt so stupid, how could she believed in a man like Spender? What was she really thinking? She needed to rest, and try to recover Mulder's trust.

 

FBI Headquarters

X files office next day

7:30 am

 

She knows he will be there soon, she wanted to be there before him but she still didn't know how recover his trust, she just needed to see him, she waits and waits but he doesn't arrive, she gets nervous and call him, first his cellphone, then his apartment, but she can't reach him.

 

Mulder's apartment

9:20 am

 

She knocks the door but there's no answer, she opens with her key, it's dark inside, she calls his name twice, nothing, she goes to the bedroom, it's empty, suddenly she hears a noise coming from the bathroom, she walks towards the source with fear, when she opens the door, she finally sees him, he is lying on the floor shaking and sweating.

'Mulder, Mulder oh god'

She says running to get him, she hold him carefully into a sitting position, he barely opens his eyes and whispers her name, she helps him stand and take him to bed, she looks at him with glassy eyes, he has a high fever, his sleeping clothes are all wet so she first change his clothes, then goes for a wet towel and a glass of water, she helps him to drink the water and then puts the towel in his forehead, his eyes are open following her every move but he is quiet, she isn't able to look at him in the eyes, when she turns to go to the kitchen again he grabs her hand.

'Scully stay'

She doesn't turn 'I'm not leaving, just going to make you something to eat, you need it Mulder' he pulls her towards him 'Later, just stay here with me' she close her eyes avoiding the tears 'Mulder…' he squeeze her hand tenderly 'Shhhh come here'

He pulls her arm again dragging her closer, she sits in the bed and finally looks into his eyes, he caresses her cheek with his hand and half smiles, she puts her hand upon his and close her eyes 'I'm sorry Mulder' she says with a trembling voice, he looks at her with all the love he is capable of 'Hey, you said that already, I'm not mad with you, I just wanna kill that bastard' she opens her eyes looking at him 'No Mulder... I lied, I acted like a fool, I was naive, I… I broke your trust'

He manage to sit down and hug her 'Scully I trust you as much as you trust me, I was just angry but not with you, you don't have to worry' She hug him back and kiss his cheek trying not to cry, she feel her lips burn in his skin, he is extremely hot with fever so she pulls away looking at him with concern 'Mulder, you are sick, do you know what's wrong with you?'

'No' he lies 'Don't worry about me' she frowns and touches his neck and forehead 'You need to take a bath' he pulls her hands away holding her wrists 'Scully!' she looks at him as if scolding him 'No, wait here while I prepare everything'

He sighs in defeat and she goes to the bathroom, he lays down again looking at himself in the ceiling's mirror, he knows he's dying, but he can't tell her, that's why he can't be mad with her, he is lying too, he feels like a miserable man who doesn't even deserve the love of that wonderful woman.

She comes back and help him stand and go to the bathtub, she take his clothes off and help him get inside, the contact with the water make him shake, she pours water on his head using a small bowl, he continues trembling and frowning, she looks at him with concern, what can be happening? maybe it's a virus increased by stress, her heart beat faster, seeing him like this makes her heart hurt.

He starts to squint and she helps him out to take him to bed, dresses him, lays him down and covers him with a sheet, he falls asleep, she takes the opportunity to prepare a chicken soup, thank God she has been sporadically staying with him and there is food in the refrigerator.

She stays with him for the rest of the day and night, at two in the morning he wakes up and sees her asleep by his side, his eyes fill with tears, a silent cry while looking at his perfect opposite, why life insist on separating them, he wipes the tears away and embraces her, falling asleep again.


	11. Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder visits his mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short chapter that breaks my heart

Raleigh, North Carolina

Saturday 10:30 am

 

His face is serious and sad, the doctors don't give him hope, he has been lying to Scully, this weekend he decided to go visit his mother again and be away from her, he didn't want to see her, she might found out, but the truth was being close to her makes him feel good, but his life is no longer in his hands and there is nothing he can do.

How could he tell her that now that they are acting like a "normal" couple he is dying, maybe that's why he did it, he needed to feel himself close to someone, he needed to calm his despair and dying sooner, the last attack had thrown him to the ground and it was her who found him and cared for him, she was so close to discovering it, but there were still secrets between them, maybe that's what happen with everyone, there's always secrets.

'Hey Mom, I brought you flowers, I know I'm coming often to see you, that must be weird for you, but I really miss you and I need you, I don't know what to do'

He puts the flowers on the grass while a tear rolls down his cheek

'You remember Scully right? my partner in the FBI, we have been getting closer, she understands me, she has always done it, she has protected me, she has made me a better person, is it okay to lie to someone to protect her? or am I being selfish?'

The sad truth is that she makes me very happy, but I can no longer protect her, I can't even protect myself... I'm dying mom, I tried everything but nothing works, I know that if I tell her, she will try to save me, but I don't want her to risk her life for me, I don't want to distress her or worry her.

He looks around, but the cemetery is alone, he can speak freely

'I already ordered my gravestone, it's really a tombstone for the whole family, I'm the last one mom, the last Mulder. The funny thing is that I will die in the new millennium, at least I could witness it'

A sob escapes from his lips even he is trying so hard not to cry.

'I'm going to stay here for the weekend, maybe I'll come see you tomorrow again, I love you mom, I never told you, but that's right, forgive me for not being there'

He kneels and touches the cold cement of the grave, dries his tears and goes to the car, maybe this is the last time he goes to visit her after all.


	12. Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Scully share a night

Mulder's apartment.

Mulder and Scully are sitting close together on the sofa. Two half-drunk mugs of tea are on the coffee table. Scully, drowsy, has her shoeless, stockinged feet propped up on the table. They have been talking a while.

'I just find it hard to believe' he says smiling, she is falling asleep, almost unable to open her eyes, he isn't looking at her trying to understand her story

'What part?' she says trying to open her eyes

'The part where I go away for two days and your whole life changes' he says smiling at her

'Mmm, I didn't say my whole life changed' she says smiling too

'You speaking to God in a Buddhist temple. God speaking back' he says thinking about it

'Mmm, and I didn't say that God spoke back. I said that I had some kind of a vision' she says trying to envision that again and looking at him briefly

'Well, for you, that's like saying you're having David Crosby's baby' She smiles and looks thoughtful, remaining quiet for a while, Mulder looks at her for a while smiling

'What is it?' he says between a smile an a concerned face

'I once considered spending my whole life with this man. What I would have missed' she says in a whisper, he looks down collecting her words 

'I don't think you can know. I mean, how many different lives would we be leading if we made different choices. We... We don't know' 

'What if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong? And there were signs along the way to pay attention to' she says slowly looking at the void 

He looks to the front trying to make his words sound coherent, like all his conspiratorial theories 'Mmm. And all the... choices would then lead to this very moment. One wrong turn, and... we wouldn't be sitting here together. Well, that says a lot. That says a lot, a lot, a lot. That's probably more than we should be getting into at this late hour.

Mulder looks down at Scully. She has fallen asleep against his shoulder. He tenderly brushes a strand of hair out of her face, then gazes at her a moment. He pulls his Indian blanket over her and carefully tucks it around her, he looks at her one last time and gets up off the couch.

He goes to the bed and sits, what was his choice now? None, why he didn't make a move earlier in their lives? The thought of losing her make his heart ache, he needed her so much right now, he goes to the living room again and looks at her, so peaceful, so beautiful, his one in five billion, he feels so happy to have her.

He sits next to her again but this time he leans down and kiss her lips softly, she opens her eyes in surprise tasting his lips on hers, he holds her by the waist and pulls her closer, she put away the blanket and open her legs over his waist sitting upon him, he gasps in desire 'Who is a naughty girl?' He says without stop kissing her, she doesn't respond but smile, he stand up carrying her and go to the bedroom.

He is holding her back and she has her legs crossed over his hips, while he walks to the bedroom she takes her shirt off over her head. He kisses her neck and she moans with pleasure, he really know how to touch her, he sits in the bed and she rests her knees in the mattress, he goes back to her lips, those juicy lips drive him crazy, their connection is undoubted, the fire between them is indescribable, they make love like never before, they feel closer, it's even scary, it's wonderful what they share, it feels like home. Their hot bodies remain together all night, naked,without sheets, only their own warm being shared.

She wakes up at 4 am, it's dark in the room and outside, she looks at him, his body is cold now, she brings a sheet from the closet and covers his tight body, he moves a little still sleeping, she stares at him for a while, Mulder, were they really something? She feels nervous again, she takes her clothes off the floor and goes to the bathroom, she looks at herself in the mirror. What's going on in her life? what is this? What happened to her yesterday? Which decisions bring her here? Was Mulder the right one? She raised an eyebrow and breathes heavily, she feels the need to be alone, she has to go.

 

Scully's apartment

5:30 am

 

She is making coffee and the phone rings. She knows who's calling so she doesn't pick up, she wants to be alone, he leaves a message on the answering machine.

'Scully are you there? what's going on? Answer please, did I do something wrong? Scully, I'm worried, do you want me to go there? If you do not answer me, I'll do it, and you know I have the key, Scully?'

He hangs up with a sigh, she closes her eyes angrily, he will fulfill his threat and within a little more than half an hour he will come knocking on the door even if she doesn't want it. She takes a quick shower and decides that it is better to leave before he arrives, but just as she is about to leave he opens the door, she is surprised to see that he didn't even knock the door.

'Are you going somewhere?' She doesn't answer and avoids his gaze, she tries to go to the bedroom but he does not allow it 'Scully, what's wrong?'

She swallows breathing through her mouth ans looking everywhere but him 'I don't know Mulder, after everything that happened yesterday I feel confused, I need to know that my life has some meaning, it's as if I no longer had a purpose'

He frowns 'You know what's happening Scully… I don't understand you, tell me what you want'

She looks at him and whisper 'I want more' She closes her eyes and turns her back to him, a tear falls down her cheek and she whip it immediately, licking her lips and crossing her arms, he doesn't know what to say, what the hell is happening, what affected her so much? She told him everything about the teacher, it can't be that, but what she wants then?

'Go home Mulder' he takes her arm turning her to him 'Listen to me Scully, if you're talking about the relationship between us, I told you, I want more, I want us to be something, it doesn't matter what the FBI or any other person say, I want to be with you' She frowns and starts crying hard 'The decisions we have made have brought us here and I do not intend to turn back' She looks at him with tearful eyes and sobs with strength, he hugs her tightly putting his chin on her head 'I know what you're feeling, I want to be with you Scully, you don't have to escape from my side. I told you I wanna be with you, what changed?' He takes her by the chin forcing her to look at him, she remain silent but hold him tight 'Promise me you will not do it again'

She sobs and speaks again with a thread of voice 'I promise, I'm sorry' She tiptoes to kiss him on the lips and he holds her neck pulling her closer. She can't deny it, she feels safe in his arms, this is them, this is the truth, they belong together and there's nothing to be afraid of.


	13. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder and Scully have a fun night

 

Hollywood studio

Mulder is sitting on a hill in the graveyard movie set. He is holding his plastic "Lazarus Bowl" and morosely eating the popcorn out of it. He looks up as wind begins blowing. Scully has turned one of the big fans toward him. She releases the fan and goes over to sit beside him 'Been looking all over for you'

He is eating popcorn and denying with his head, he looks sad 'They got it so wrong, Scully'

She sighs and sits, taking some of his popcorn and speaking with caution 'I got a page from the Washington Bureau. Micah Hoffman was murdered tonight. Murdered in his own home by Cardinal O'Fallon who then hanged himself. A murder-suicide'

'It's Jesus and Judas, Scully' he says sadly

'Wow... It's all over now' she says thoughtful

'No, no, it's just beginning. Hoffman and O'Fallon were these complicated, flawed, beautiful people and now they'll just be remembered as jokes because of this movie. The character based on O'Fallon is listed in the credits as "Cigarette-Smoking Pontiff." How silly is that?' he is really disappointed

She tries not to laugh although the whole situation seems funny 'Pretty silly'

'Yeah, what about us? How are we going to be remembered now 'cause of this movie?' he seems concerned

She frowns thinking it is absurd 'Well, hopefully, the movie will tank'

'What about all the dead people who are forever silent and can't tell their stories anymore? They're all going to have to rely on Hollywood to show the future how we lived and it'll all become... oversimplified and trivialized and Cigarette-Smoking Pontificized and become as plastic and meaningless as this stupid plastic Lazarus Bowl' he says trying to give a sense to the barbarity they just saw

'I think the dead are beyond caring what people think about them. Hopefully we can adopt the same attitude' she says suppressing a laugh but she smiles at him 'You do know that there aren't real dead people out there, right? That this is a movie set?' finally letting out a big smile

'The dead are everywhere, Scully' he answers her seriously

'Well... We're alive. And we're relatively young and Skinner was so tickled by the movie...' she is trying not to laugh even is very hard by this point

'I bet he was...' he interrupts her

She continues taking her hand into her pocket 'That he has given us a Bureau credit card to use for the evening' She holds up the card and giggles.

He looks at her out of the corner of his eye and smiles 'Come on'

She takes his arm and helps him up. Together, they run down the steep slope of the hill to a path 'Mulder, I have something to confess'

'What's that?' he asks

'I'm in love with Associate Producer Walter Skinner' They both laugh, and MULDER dumps the half-full bowl on top of a small statue's head.

'Ah... Me, too' Holding hands they get outside the Hollywood studios and get a taxi.

'So what do you have in mind?' he asks expectantly, she thinks for a moment, so many ways to spend the bureau money, she feels excitement

'For start lets get drunk' she says giggling, he raises an eyebrow smiling

'Hum, all right, that's my girl!'

The driver take them to a good and expensive bar nearby, he gets down first and turn around opening her door, she smiles pleased, he has proved her many times he is a real gentleman. They enter the bar holding hands, the place is full of people, most of them really well dressed, they look at each other and smile, he kisses her forehead and then they walk to the bar and ask for a bottle of vodka. The bartender ask a waitress to find them a table, there's one a little far from the noise where they can talk in a comfortable sofa, it's perfect for them.

The waiter come again with the bottle of vodka and two glasses with ice, they are sitting close together, he has his arm resting on the sofa and his hand on her shoulder, she has her body resting just a little on his chest, he serves the liquid in both glasses with his free hand and gives her a drink, she receives it with a smile.

'What are we going to toast for Scully?' he says biting his lower lip, she looks deep into his eyes and smiles

'Today, for us'

he raises his glass 'Very good, for us' 

They make a toast and drink, a couple in front of them is kissing passionately, Scully looks at them raising an eyebrow, Mulder sees her gazing and smiles.

'Do you want us to do the same?' he asks with normality

She blushes and a laugh escapes her lips 'They're a beautiful couple, don't you think?' 

He smiles looking at her 'Just like us'

She looks at him tenderly and rests her head on his shoulder, he kisses her forehead and finishes his drink, she sees his empty glass and leans forward to take the bottle and serve him more, he agrees with a smile, she casts more vodka in both glasses and they continue to drink most of the time in silence. The waiter come back to offer them another bottle.

'Yes please, thank you' he waiter nods and withdraws

'Mulder are you sure?' she says in a whisper bringing her face close to his

Her breathing is close to his that he feels intoxicated and a huge desire to kiss her invade him, but he controls himself 'Yeah Scully, why not? We are free tonight with a lot of cash

He leans closer and peck her lips lightly, she giggles 'All right, but I might get drunk soon'

He raises his eyebrows and smirks 'Great, I wanna meet the drunk Scully'

She smiles and kiss him, he is pleased, apparently the movie left her in good spirits, not much for him but seeing her smile makes him feel better, each one of her smiles warm his heart, it is difficult in the daily routine see her smile widely like tonight, she is shining.

They hear Love Bites by Def leppard in the background and she smiles with enthusiasm 'I love that song Mulder'

He looks at her smiling and she giggles, he stand up looking at her and stretches a hand inviting her to take it 'Let's dance!'

She smiles widely and takes his hand, they walk to the empty dance floor and dance, she stumbles a little and he holds her lower back while she crosses her hands over his neck, he kiss her deeply on the lips letting his tongue play a little in her mouth, she closes her eyes smiling and follows his game, she speaks between the kisses.

'You know we are alone in the dancefloor, right?' she says a little blushed

He smiles holding her closer 'Let them look at us' 

She giggles and continue dancing, he puts his forehead against hers and look deep into her eyes 'You look beautiful Scully'

'You too Mulder' she blushes again and he smiles

'… I love you' he says seriously

she separates her forehead from his and looks at him with a little blushing astonishment, he smiles shyly letting go his embrace, she looks around confused and swallows

'I'm sorry Scully' he says running his fingers through his hair

She sighs and holds his hands 'No Mulder, don't be, I'm, I… I'm just surprised, wow I… sorry! She giggles again and he frowns

'What? Scully are you alright?' he says holding her waist and moving her closer to him

'I think I'm a little drunk' She says between laughs, he holds her by her back and guides her to their sit again.

'You want us to leave now?' he asks with concern

'That's a good idea' she says noding

He pays the check and lead her outside, they get a taxi and go to the hotel, she falls asleep before they arrive so he carries her in his arms to her room and places her on the bed, then takes off her shoes and covers her with a sheet.

Before he can leave she takes his hand and draws him towards her, he sits in the bed looking at her 'Don't go Mulder, stay with me' 

He puts his arm on her waist and whispers 'You need to rest Scully, tomorrow we go back to Washington' 

'I know, please, stay' she says pouting, he smiles looking at her and leaning down to kiss her forehead, then he takes off his shoes and lies next to her hugging her from behind in a spooning position.

She puts her hands on his arms and closes her eyes 'Mulder?'

He gets closer to her an whisper in her ear 'Yes?'

She waits a bit nervous 'I love you' 

He smiles kissing her cheek 'I know' she closes her eyes and sighs smiling, he smiles too feeling a warm in his heart, letting the sleep beat him, next the woman of his life.


	14. I Love You

 Bellefluer, Oregon

8:07 PM

Mulder's motel room.

 

He is lying on his bed looking at the files that Teresa Hoese gave them. He looks up at a knock on his door. He walks towards the door with precaution 'Who is it?' he asks

She is outside shaking and a little nervous, this case is affecting her and she doesn't know what's happening to her 'It's me' she answers shyly

He opens the door. Scully stands in the doorway shaking, he looks at her concerned 'What's wrong, Scully? You look sick' he moves closer to her and she shivers

'I don't know what's wrong' he draws her into the room worried

'Come in' she sits huddled, shivering, on the bed. He closes the door and goes to her, she looks pale and he doesn't know what to say

'I, um... I was starting to get ready for bed and I started to feel really dizzy- vertigo or something- and then I just... I started to get chills' He turns down the sheets and blankets on his bed

'You want me to call a doctor?' he asks, she is the professional here, but he doesn't know what else to say

'No, I just... I just want to get warm' She climbs onto the bed, pausing as Mulder takes off her shoes and drops them to the floor. She gets under the covers and he tucks her in, then lies behind her and embraces her in a spooning cuddle 'Thank you' she says with a shaky voice

They remain quiet for a while, he is really close to her, that's comforting, for both of them, he is thoughtful, thinks about the case, thinks about Scully, thinks about everything they have had to face, in so many injustices perpetrated against that wonderful woman 'It's not worth it, Scully'

She frowns surprised by his words 'What?' she says almost in a whisper

He speaks softly in her ear 'I want you to go home' his words are warm and sweet

Sh chuckles with sadness 'Oh, Mulder, I'm going to be fine' she doesn't wanna leave, she can't leave him alone, he needs her

He is completely sure of his words 'No, I've been thinking about it. Looking at you tonight, holding that baby... knowing everything that's been taken away from you. A chance for motherhood and your health and that baby. I think that... I don't know, maybe they're right'

She feels tears beginning to form inside her eyes 'Who's right?'

'The FBI. Maybe what they say is true, though for all the wrong reasons. It's the personal costs that are too high' he feels a sadness invading him, he loves her and want her to be safe, even he can't give her back all she had lost. She begins to cry silently. He whispers gently into her ear 'There so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this' He gently strokes her face as she cries, she close her eyes letting him take care of her 'There has to be an end, Scully' he whispers and then softly kisses her cheek and leans his head on her shoulder. She clasps his hand and holds it near her mouth.

She can't stop crying, she is suddenly feeling all that pain again and she whispers 'I know what you saying is true but I won't leave you alone' she can't, she won't, she wants to be with him like this forever

'Then stay here tonight, I wanna make sure you're okay' he says calmly kissing her cheek again. She nods agreeing and closes her eyes with a sigh.

'Thank you Mulder' she says and her voice breaks, so many emotions, she can't deal with them, she feels she can't do it

'Don't thank me honey' he says tighten up his hug and pulling her closer to him. She smiles and turns to look at him, he has his eyes closed and a serious expression, she moves a little more laying in her full back for look at him better, he has his arm over her chest and finally opens his eyes looking straight into hers 'What?'

She chuckles and raises an eyebrow, whipping her tears away 'Honey?' he smiles raising his eyebrows and kisses her forehead

'Yeah, you don't like it?' he asks smiling 

She remains quiet for a while looking into his eyes 'Well… I don't know… I think I do, it's just... new' she stutters

He chuckles 'Then honey it is' She smiles again and turns facing him, he is still looking at her, but her lips, she moves forward and kiss him, putting her hand over his waist pulling him closer, he holds her neck and kiss her slowly, feeling her shaking body close to him, he pulls away looking at her worried 'Scully, you are sick'

She rolls her eyes and caresses his face with her hand 'Mulder I will be fine, I'm a doctor'

He hold her hand and take it to his lips to kiss it 'Are you sure?'

She nods 'I'm sure' She smiles looking at him with all her love, he pulls her closer making her put her head under his neck, she sighs and holds him tighter.

'I love you Mulder' she whispers shyly. He laughs caressing her hair 'What?' she asks with amusement

'Finally' he says with a smirk. She smiles and try to say something but he talks first 'I know you said it before but you were drunk' 

'I mean it that time too Mulder' she says with tenderness. He kisses her head and smiles, she loves him, that's all he always wanted, his heart aches with pain, she loves him.

'I love you too honey, now go to sleep, I'm here'


	15. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder asks Scully not to go with him

Skinner's Office

Conference Area

4:00 pm

 

The table is littered with papers, files and Chinese take-out containers. A group is around the table. Skinner, the Lone Gunmen, Krycek, Marita Covarrubias, Mulder and a very uncomfortable Scully at one end of the table. Her arms are crossed protectively.

- What's amazing is that even the military satellites don't see it - says Frohike

\- But J.P.L.'S Topex Poseidon shows it only as waveform data - Langley responds

\- And here it appears simply as a microburst of transmission error on the European Space Agency's ERS-2 - Byers continues

Skinner looks confused, why are they working with them in first place? He tries to remain focused - In other words? - he asks

\- In other words, you'd never know it's a UFO - Frohike answers

\- If you didn't know what you were looking at or looking for - Byers completes

\- No wonder we couldn't see them - Langley finishes

Kricek is not as patient as anybody else, and the words game is not helping - Listen, it is not going to be there forever - he says calling everybody's attention

\- As we all stand here talking it's rebuilding itself - Marita supports him, she knows what's going on and she wants this to stop

Scully can't take it anymore and walks out of the office and paces the hall. She can't believe they are actually discussing a plan with two people who are not reliable, especially Krycek, who has always been a liar, that the only thing he has ever done, is to get them in trouble or put them in danger, she is mad with everybody right now. Mulder follows her, closing the door behind him, she is walking away but she knows he's coming after her so turns around to look at him - Mulder, if any of this is true... -

\- If it is, or if it isn't I want you to forget about it, Scully - he says interrupting her, she stares at him in disbelief, is he really letting go of this - Forget about it? - she says frowning

\- You're not going back out there. I'm not going to let you go back out there - he says firmly. She opens her mouth trying to understand his words - What are you talking about? - she asks him confused

\- It has to end sometime. That time is now - and finally she realizes, that he's leaving her behind - Mulder... - she says in a whisper but he stops her again - Scully, you have to understand that they're taking abductees. You're an abductee. I'm not going to risk... losing you - he says after a long pause looking at her with concern and love

She walks slowly into his embrace. They cling tightly to each other. They both remember the conversation they had at the motel, he is serious, he wants to protect her, but she can't leave him alone, if something happens she will die - I won't let you go alone - she says whispering in his ear

 

Skinner's Office

\- What do you need Agent Scully? - he says in a hurry, this case is really stressful for everybody, not to mention Skinner hates Krycek, but he always come with new truthful information that can't be let behind

\- You will go back there with Mulder... you have to Sir - she says in a trembling voice but firmly

He look at her frowning - Excuse me? -

\- You owe us this Sir - she says in a low voice

\- What are you talking about? - he asks her raising his voice, they might have a good relationship but he is still her boss

\- You know we don't trust Krycek, Walter - she says his name when things get personal, and this time, he is putting them in trouble, this is dangerous and everybody knows it, but they will stay, Mulder is the one who has to go, and she won't let him expose himself into a dangerous situation alone

- I don't do that either - he says understanding her feelings

She loose her cool and gets exasperated - Then why you brought them to Mulder? - she says raising her voice, he doesn't like it, she is being disrespectful, is not the first time, 

Skinner tries to use a conciliatory tone - They said this was important, and you must agree it is - she looks at him knowing what he's saying is true

\- Well I don't care, if is so important to them, they can do it alone - she says crossing her arms on her chest

She is a woman-at-arms take, he know that, but this is not about her, this is about the x files - This is important for Mulder too - he finishes

She looks at him with anger and fear licking her upper lip - Exactly, that's why this is dangerous and you put him in this position, so I'm sorry if this affects in some how your reputation inside the FBI, but you have to go - she says firmly, she won't take a no as an answer

\- All right - he sighs - I'll go with him -

 

X Files Basement

6:02 pm

 

Scully is sitting behind the desk watching the documents that the lone gunmen provided them, there's a bunch of devices on the desk, Mulder comes in wearing jeans and a grey shirt, a jacket in his shoulder and a travel bag in his right hand. Scully looks at him and smile - What is it? - he asks smiling too

She give him the check look and giggles- I love you wearing jeans - she says in a flirty way

He grins and puts his bag on the floor and the jacket in a chair, she walks towards him and he hug her tightly, he knows she is nervous, he is too, but he is dying anyway. That makes him feel guilty, she can't tell her, she won't, she might help him later, but not while he is still alive - Promise me you won't do anything stupid Mulder - she says pulling away and looking into his eyes

He looks at her too, those beautiful blue eyes full of concern, how can he not love her - When do I do that? - he says smiling a little, she pulls her head back looking at him with a raised eyebrow and half a smile. He laughs looking at her with love, then kisses her forehead.

\- I promise - he finally says. They broke their embrace and she goes to the desk then turns to look at him again.

- Here - She gives him a bag of sunflower seeds smiling, he smiles too reaching for it - This is definitely love Scully - he says with a smirk

She giggles looking into his eyes - Oh no Scully, I'm talking about me and the seeds - She laughs punching him softly in his arm - Shut up Mulder - 

He smiles and pulls her to him again to hug her - You have to promise me something too Scully - 

\- What? -

He pulls her away holding her by her shoulders - You will go to see a doctor - She rolls her eyes laying her head to one side - What? No Mulder, I'm fine -

\- No Scully, you are not… please! - 

She sighs and nods - Alright, but after I know you are ok, I have to stay here working with the lone gunmen Mulder, you know I don't like this situation at all -

He let go his hold and cross his arms on his chest looking at her with a serious expression - Very well, deal -

He walks towards the desk and puts the devices in a backpack then turns to look at her - I should get going, Skinner is waiting for me - 

She looks at him with concerned eyes, he extends his arms towards her - Come here - She goes and accepts his embrace holding him tight - I will be fine Scully, I promise - He kisses her forehead one more time and then she tilt her head up to kiss him on the lips, a long and sweet goodbye kiss.


	16. A Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scully discovers the truth about her dizziness and Mulder disappears

Hospital Washington Memorial

10: 30 pm

She opens her eyes slowly, all around her is white and her eyes struggle a little to focus on something, after a few seconds she is able to really look around, a hospital room, she looks at herself scared and sits a little in the bed but immediately feels a terrible dizziness so she lay down again closing her eyes and breathing through her mouth.

What's going on with her? How she get there? Is the cancer coming back? The think of it makes her shake in terror, she looks at the roof and waits but suddenly there's another thing worrying her. Mulder. How is he? She needs to know.

There's a FBI agent outside her door, she needs answers - Hello? Agent, can you hear me? - The man in the door turns around and look at her, she invite him to come in so he opens the door and go stand next to her bed.

\- Agent Scully, how are you feeling? -

\- I'm good thank you, I need you to tell me what you know about A.D. Skinner and Agent Mulder - she asks frowning in a hurry, the man seems to struggle a little, and she suddenly gets nervous

\- AD Skinner called an hour ago, I'm afraid agent Mulder is missing - he says carefully

Her lower lip tremble and she take her eyes away from the man - Thank you - she whispers

He sees her pain and leaves without another word, she sobs when he closes the door and cries desperate after a few seconds, she covers her face with her hands and shakes in pain, her worst fear was coming true, he did something stupid after all but it was her fault too, her appreciation of the case was made too late, now he is gone and she is alone, and sick, her heart is broken, she starts breathing faster and a new dizziness invades her, this time she stands up and runs to the bathroom, she throws up in the middle of a convulsing cry, she remains in the floor for a while trying to calm herself, the she washes her mouth and face, when she comes out of the bathroom the doctor comes in, he looks at her worried.

\- Are you alright? - he asks her

- … Yes… I… I was feeling dizzy - 

\- That will be very normal from now on - the doctor says smiling, she raises an eyebrow and sits in the bed waiting for him to continue - Agent Scully, we are running some tests on you, but you don't need to worry -

She frowns confused - Can you please tell me what's wrong with me? I don't want any lies - She thinks the worst, eat will she tell Mulder - Is the cancer again? - 

The Doctor strokes his head denying - What? No, it's good news - he says with enthusiasm

she looks even more confused, how dizzyness can be something positive - I'm afraid I don't understand -

\- You're pregnant - he says with a big smile. She looks at him astonished and unable to speak - Congratulations! - She starts to cry again breathing heavily, the doctor smiles thinking she is crying of happiness - I know it must be shocking, many expecting mothers cry when they find out -

She tries to reason but it is impossible, that is impossible, there is not the remotest possibility of that happening, not after the treatments and the suffering to discover that nothing had worked - No, you don't understand, there must be a mistake, I can't have children -

Now the doctor looks confused - I'm sorry, I'm not following you - 

\- I… Are you sure? - she asks not wanting to tell him her story

\- Yes, here are your results if you wanna look at it for yourself - She look at the papers and remain silent, tears still falling down her cheeks, the doctor looks at her waiting but seeing her expression he decides is better to go away - Alright, congratulations again, I recommend you rest, we are making sure the baby is fine and there won't be future complications. I need go check on my other patients.

She nods with her head and remain silent, he goes away closing the door behind him. She looks at the papers again, there's no doubt, she is pregnant, she is having a baby, she puts her hand over her flat abdomen and bites her lip, how is this possible? And why now when Mulder is gone?

She can't stop crying, she let the papers fall to the floor and lay down in the bed, she feels exhausted and closes her eyes, she can't find the way to calm herself, she is scared, sad, desperate, but at the same time happy and nervous, she needs to find Mulder, he needs to know they're having a baby, an hour later the sleep finally catches her, she falls asleep with her hands protecting her unborn child.

 

Next day

9:30 am

 

Skinner enters the hospital and makes his way to Scully's room. She is lying on a bed with a pensive look on her face - Agent Scully -

\- Hi - she answers with a low voice

He is nervous, he feels bad for her, for Mulder, for his own incompetence - Hi. How you feeling? -

She sighs - I'm feeling fine. They're just running some tests on me -

He tries to talk - Well… Hmm - but he can't, his face twists in pain, Scully is ready to cry

\- I already heard - she says with a trembling voice

His voice breaks and he can't control himself - I lost him, I don't know what else I can say. I lost him. I'll be asked... what I saw. And what I saw, I can't deny. I won't - he is still in shock too, the spaceship, the lights, their trip, everything seems like a nightmare to him, science fiction.

-We will find him, i have to - she says crying. Skinner nods in understanding and starts out of the room. However, she talks again - Sir, um... there's something else I need to tell you. Something that I need for you to keep to yourself -

He looks at her questioningly. She looks ready to either laugh or cry, but can't decide which - I'm having a hard time explaining it. Or believing it. But, um… - she makes a pause, a small inward smile of joy mixed with plenty of pain - I'm pregnant - He stares at her, speechless. She tries to smile. But through her tears, it comes out as a mixture of a laugh and a weak sob.

THE END


End file.
